Roadblocks to Wholehearted Living—Shame

By October 7, 2015Christianity

Most everyone reading this blog knows how to eat healthy. Some of you have tried weight watchers or the South Beach Diet. In our home the new craze is eating glutton free. Along with eating right, we have been hearing for years about the importance of exercise. The memberships at Life Time Fitness are out the roof.

Yet we are the most obese, self-medicated, prescription driven, addicted, and depressed Americans ever! Walgreens is opening a new pharmacy about every 15 minutes. Recently the medical community is reporting that close to half of us will die of cancer.

Why? With all the information we have—books, CD’s, TV programming, and the internet. Why are we struggling like never before?

It’s because we never talk about the things that get in the way of doing the right thing. Roadblocks. We know what to do but we don’t do what’s best for our lives. We know the information but we just can’t seem to put our information into formation that can lead to transformation.

We have these roadblocks to living wholehearted lives. What we know isn’t going to help us if we don’t deal with the roadblocks.

Wholehearted living is about connection. Connection is why we are on this earth. It’s what makes life worth living. The ability to feel connected is the heart’s greatest desire. Thus, when we feel disconnected and unworthy, a part of our heart doesn’t function well. After thousands of interviews, Brene Brown in her groundbreaking work on the topic has discovered that the big unnamed thing, the one thing that unravels connection is shame. We are fearful to admit it and uncomfortable talking about it. But it’s universal. All of us carry shame.

Shame is the fear of disconnection. Shame says, “If they only knew this they would reject me.” We are fearful that we are not worthy of connection. Such inner beliefs create heart disease—both spiritually and physically. God made us for relationships and when those relationships are blocked, we feel trapped and depressed.

Last year I resigned under pressure from the church I had planted. God had blessed the ministry from our basement to a church that numbered in the thousands. It was a glorious ride and a joy to pastor. But something had changed and I took the blame. I felt like a failure. I felt rejection from those I loved. I felt shame.

Shame like I had never experienced enveloped my heart. I became depressed and an almost recluse for a while. I seriously considered just moving away and becoming a monk or something. You laugh but I thought about it.

And then something happened. That’s for our next blog.

On the Road,

For more information on Pastor Steve Holt and The Road: