I’m a Wholehearted Worrier

By December 4, 2015Christianity

I’m a chronic worrier. Since I was a little tot, playing sports on the playground, even in the game of tag, I remember worrying if and when I would be picked for a team. It was not good enough to be picked second or third. If I was not chosen first, I worried. My struggle with acne as a teen in high school was, according to a dermatologist, directly related to the stress I carried.

As a father of seven, husband of one, and pastor of a growing church we planted a little over a year ago, I carry on my shoulders many responsibilities. I am naturally gifted at worrying about these many concerns. If there were a spiritual gift of worrier, I would have to say that I’m anointed with the gift. I could do seminars on how to worry. I guess one could say I’m a wholehearted worrier. I worry with all of my heart, all of my mind, and all of my strength.

But you know what’s exciting? Over the past two years, I’m on a journey out of the ravine of worry. I’m hiking out of the valley of anxiety into the sun-bathed switchbacks of peace. I’m discovering daily how to walk toward the mountaintops of wholehearted living. It’s risky, difficult, and full of setbacks.

To walk this journey is to be curious about our emotions and desires. When we become curious, asking questions about why we do what we do, why we think the way we think, why we have certain emotions in certain circumstances, is the beginning to freedom. Without curiosity, we are unable to change. But curiosity makes us vulnerable and vulnerability is risky. It takes courage to be curious. It takes courage to walk out of the valley of worry.

On the Road,

Twitter @pastorsteveholt