“He who covers his sins will not prosper,
But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”
(Proverbs 28:13)
I have recently encountered what I am calling the Dark Matrix. It’s a place we find ourselves entering whenever we are overly stressed and overworked. I have to confess my desperate place of unfulfilled Bible study, quick prayer times, and a distracted mind. In this matrix, I have hurt some people who I am very close to.
The Dark Matrix is a confusing place in which we are listening to the wrong voices, unable to process information, and more vulnerable to mistakes we will regret. And so, it has been for me.
When we are in the Dark Matrix of our rebellion, we only want to cover our sins. We play hide and seek with ourselves and others. But our heart is conflicted. We know it’s not right. We know it’s not the true self. It’s the takeover of the false self.
The false self runs and runs and becomes exhausted. The false self is the pretender. The false self is the work done with our own power. You can never satisfy the false self. It’s ruled by shame.
The conflict of the soul is the true self fighting to come back, take over, and surrender to Creator God. The true self is the son and daughter of God longing for adoption with the Father. It’s the call for “Abba Father” deep in our spirit (see Romans 8:14-17). It’s the Holy Spirit speaking to us.
The Choice
We always hurt people when we enter the Dark Matrix. We have a choice of who we will listen to and what we will do in response. Confession is one choice. Cover Up is the other. Confession or Cover Up? Choose your hard.
To choose confession is to begin the road back to the true identity of our adoption in Christ. Healing can begin when we confess and agree with God that we were wrong and are in need of forgiveness.
But we hate it because we must hear and understand what we’ve done. It’s very, very difficult. But if we have chosen the Jesus Way, the road less traveled of discipleship, we must choose confession. To keep growing in the progressive sanctification of following Christ, choosing confession is paramount. Someone aptly described the process: I am transformed. I am being transformed. I am yet to be transformed. So true. It’s our choice each time we sin.
If we want out of the Dark Matrix, we must begin the process of confession and repentance. Confession of sin is the first step toward repentance. Speaking out about our mistakes, wilful pride, and wrongful attitudes sets in motion a work of the Holy Spirit that changes our heart. It’s not a feeling, but an act of faith. This is the way out and the way on.
Pastor Steve
