Skip to main content
ConnectionCourageRelationships

Hardwired for Connection

By February 15, 2024February 21st, 2024No Comments

Do you know that you are hardwired for connection with people? God created you to need Him and others. Studies show that people who have solid growing honest relationships are happier, healthier, and live longer than those who don’t.

“Neuroscience suggests that we are neurologically wired to connect with others; mirror neurons in our brains are stimulated when we’re interacting with other people. Literally, when you are talking to someone, pathways in your brain light up to mirror the emotions and behaviors that this other person is conveying. We are hardwired to interact and connect with others.” (psychcaremd.com/hardwired-for-connection/)

Neuroscientist Dr. Matthew Lieberman, director of UCLA’s Social Cognitive Neuroscience Lab, has found that a person’s need to connect with others is stronger than even one’s need for food and shelter. Some studies would suggest that the greatest predictor of happiness is the level on one’s “community and mutuality” with other people. (ibid)

Isolation is Dangerous

In my counseling, I have found that one of the greatest predictors of unhealthy addictions, depression, and divorce is isolation. When a person has no close friends, the chances of foolish decisions, bad choices, and unhealthy practices exponentially increases. Isolation is dangerous to your well-being.

Even Jesus knew He couldn’t do it alone. One of the first things Jesus did in building His public ministry was recruit a team. “And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers…Then he said to them, ‘Follow Me and I will make you fishers of men’” (Matthew 4:18~19). Jesus called the Twelve and it was these men that He laid the foundations of the greatest movement in world history.

More Courage

Recent scientific research at the University of Virginia, shows that people see their realities differently when they have other people with them and alongside them looking at the same objective. In one group they asked a mountain climber who would be hiking alone, how long it would take them to scale the summit.

Then they took another group of climbers who were asked the exact same question but with another climber beside them, who would be hiking together. In over 75% of the cases the climbers who were asked the question who had a fellow climber with them predicted up to a 40% faster time to scale the same mountain.

Full Potential

Shawn Achor, speaking on Big Potential has said,

“I believe that there is one main reason why we are seeing elevated rates of anxiety in our schools and unhappiness in the world—a crucial mistake that every major religious tradition and ancient philosopher warned us against. We have been trying to pursue happiness and success by ourselves, in isolation and in competition…

This is what I call ‘small potential’—believing we have to do all this alone. We have been taught to strip others out of our formula for success and happiness. When you choose to be more grateful and positive, that makes other people around you more grateful and positive as well. This creates a virtuous cycle.

…the only way to achieve our ‘big potential’ is to transform the pursuit of happiness and success from a solitary one to an interconnected one.”

So, let me challenge you to strengthen your personal relationships. The people in your life are interconnected to your purpose, peace, and happiness. Jesus told us to “love our neighbor as we love ourselves,” and He is the one who created us for connection.

Pastor Steve