In my last blog I shared the definition of shame by Brené Brown. I shared that David in Psalm 31 is struggling with shame in his life. If you did not read that blog, please read it before reading this one.
Under Siege
Eight years ago, my heart was under siege. I had resigned from the church I had planted, pastored for twenty years, and dearly loved. My ministry life felt like it had ended. I was deeply wounded and broken as a man. The feelings of betrayal and abandonment blitzed my soul. Unforgiveness assailed my heart.
Like a battering ram, shame enveloped my mind. My self-talk went something like this: “You are an utter failure! How could you allow this to happen? You are a loser. You don’t have what it takes! Who would ever trust someone like you?”
Do Not Lose Heart
It was during this dark time that I read 2 Corinthians Chapter 4. It was like a heavenly light shone upon the pages of Scripture. God used the following passage to begin the healing I desperately needed.
Paul caught my attention. He begins 2 Corinthians 4 with these words, “Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart” (verse 1). I was losing heart and God used this passage to plant courage in my heart! Brené Brown writes, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” That was my starting point—showing up and seeing my life for what it truly was.
Three Courageous Steps from 2 Corinthians 4:1-6
Paul then continues in verse 2, “But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.”
Step 1: Honestly share your story. I discovered that the power of shame is broken when we “commend our ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.” Shame can only live in darkness. The key to breaking the power of shame is to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and open about our shame. We must learn to share our story. We must open up to some trusted allies about what we have done and what’s been done to us. Vulnerability with God and people breaks the power of shame.
“But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them” (verses 3-4).
Step 2: Boldly tell the demons to leave. I had to recognize that demons were blinding my heart. Even as a believer in Christ, I still had dark areas of my heart that were not allowing the light of Christ to penetrate. I was ashamed by these dark shame caves that I had learned to protect with pride and hiddenness. I had to honestly acknowledge that I was a poser and pretender. That I guarded these caves because of the fear of humiliation. But then I got bold and aggressive! I learned to self-exorcise my demons by going on the attack. I told those demons to leave!
“For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake. For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ” (verse 5-6).
Step 3: Shine Christ into your darkness. Next, I had to realize that “the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God” wanted to shine His light into every part of my heart. I found that I needed a spiritual flashlight. I had to direct the beam of God’s light into the dark shame caves of my heart. I had to become authentic in a new way. I had to say, “Jesus, I acknowledge that I have carried this shame my whole life. I’m renouncing these areas that have controlled my thoughts and actions. Shine your light into my shame!”
All of us are carrying shame. Everyone has dark shame caves. No one is exempt. It’s the air we breathe in this life. But you don’t have to be controlled by your shame. You can be set free to walk in the newness of life in Christ. Try these steps and see if God doesn’t remake you into the free man, free woman, you were created to be.
Pastor Steve
